I started writing journals in elementary school that continued all through junior high and high school and well into college. I had planned on keeping them forever to someday look back with nostalgia upon those memories. I think writing down memories is important because you never know how long your mind will be allowed to hold onto them for you.
The journals were filled with all kinds of things: daily tasks, crushes, happiness, work, family, trips, love, anger, etc. None of it was my best writing but it documented daily life. I destroyed most of those journals one day after sitting and reading through some of my more angry entries that seemed to bring those hostile feelings to the surface again for no good reason. I had decided that the journals had to go so that I could not reference those bad days anymore. Any grudges or fights written about in the past would all be thrown away. I had decided that if those days and those feelings did not remain in my memory on their own, then they were not worth being in my life at all anymore. It’s silly and I probably shouldn’t have done it so hastily but it does demonstrate the power that a memory has…even when it’s just dusty writing on a page.
I digress.
I love to write. And that’s why I started writing online years ago to an audience that may not exist. I love the days when I feel so inspired about something that I have to start writing it down immediately because I don’t want to lose it. I love when the words are coming to me so quickly that I hardly have time for my hands to catch up and by the time the pages have been typed I have no idea what I’ve said.
You’ll notice that I haven’t written on this particular blog in months.
I love to write. But we’ve been through some challenges throughout the past year that have left my heart, mind and writing at a loss. I’ve written 3 entries…8 pages detailing the challenges of the past year but no one has read them or has known that they exist. I have kept most of my words to myself, typed up for the sake of getting them out of my system and for the purpose of remembering exactly how I felt in those moments.
Recently, I finally wrote about some of the struggle on my other blog, Full of Reason. Admitting loss, failure, worries, and fears to other people…it’s like walking into a crowd naked. I don’t know that I will ever have the guts to share those 3 entries with anyone. But I have come to realize this:
Writing is sometimes more than just putting words on a page to entertain or to educate others. Sometimes writing is therapy. Sometimes it’s a dialogue with God. Sometimes writing it all down forces you to come to terms with it. And…as was the case with those dusty old journals…maybe the simple act of destroying the writing is more helpful than the writing ever was to begin with.
Why an entire post about the benefits of writing? Well I spent some time today reading a woman’s blog that details her family’s struggle through losing 3 babies over the past year and most recently finding black mold in their family home that forced them to abandon their house and get rid of most of their belongings. There is darkness, honesty and vulnerability in her writing but it always seems to be laced with hope. And the very fact that through all of the ups and downs she continues to write it all down for the world to see is the perfect example of how writing can help someone through even their darkest days.
It’s worth the read – I’d recommend starting with “Charlie’s Story” first http://www.charliessong.com/ to really get an understanding of why she started writing in the first place.
So you may be asking yourself…is there a moral to this long winded post?
Not sure there is one…I just felt like I needed to write.
Love,
Elyse
